WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
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