He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
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