For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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