Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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