I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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