so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
