ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Randomize
