why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
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