The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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