Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
