Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
A bitchslap is in order.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
