just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
