And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
