i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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