ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
