i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You ate ashes out of my bong
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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