i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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