Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
this hospital has no fireball
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
