Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
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