tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
