we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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