Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Randomize
