I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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