i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
