He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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