I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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