the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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