I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
