why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
