Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
