now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
