Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize