So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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