it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
