I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Randomize
