quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
