you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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