One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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