we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
