the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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