sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
