I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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