Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
