Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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