Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
