There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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