Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Randomize
