oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
