then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
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