Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
