My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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