If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
