Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
i black out too much to be "responsible"
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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