Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
