I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Where is the hickey?
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
