When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize
