hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize