My girlfriend figured out who you are.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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