Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
