I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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