Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
you never un-have a 4some
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize