I am in a vortex of obligation.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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